Laguna Verde and Third Ayahuasca Ceremony
02.05.2024
This morning our day started very relaxed again, with a (once again) very delicious breakfast.
Then at about 11:00 AM, we set off to the “Laguna Verde” to swim or bathe a bit in the middle of the jungle and enjoy a delicious lunch a bit later.
It was really a very beautifully landscaped (small) lake.
It had about 100 meters in diameter with beautifully landscaped little huts and flowers.
Next door, there was even a super beautifully landscaped fruit and herb garden.
After the owner noticed that I was very taken with it, he gave my dad and me a little tour through his garden.
He explained a lot to us and gave us some things to try.
Among other things, he mentioned that he has between 25 and 30 different fruits and herbs in his garden, which surprised and fascinated me very much.
We naturally thanked him very much after the tour for taking the time for us.
After we had all eaten our fill and swam a bit, we slowly made our way back.
We were just about halfway when there was suddenly a big thump.
The left front nose of the car stuck into the ground, and the left front tire bounced next to us.
The tire had so much momentum that it bounced up and down several times almost to the roof height of the car until we came to a stop.
When we inspected the damage, it quickly became clear that almost all five nuts on the tire had loosened and fallen off at the same time due to the vibration of the ride.
After we all searched for the nuts, we were able to find four out of five nuts after a while, which honestly surprised me quite a bit.
Nobody really inspected the damage extensively.
They simply knocked the sand out of all possible corners to make the wheel usable again.
After they “re-cut” the threads with the nuts so that the nuts would go back on, they screwed the tire back on.
The tire even already had a big cut in the casing, so I was 99% sure that the tire itself wouldn’t stay intact until we reached our destination.
The body was bent or bent up so far that the wheel no longer scratched against it and ran freely again.
Then after about 30 minutes, we continued.
Surprisingly, we then even got back to the retreat center without further breakdown, where we then had a few more hours to relax before the third Ayahuasca ceremony continued in the evening.
We gathered again in the Maloka at 08:30 PM and started the ceremony.
After I had drunk my full cup, I made myself comfortable again and prepared for what might be coming.
Before I go into more detail, I have to say that it always surprises me how much a good night with Ayahuasca can help and advance you.
How much you can also learn about yourself.
Well… I will try to write it down as best as possible, even though it seems almost impossible since it felt so real.
When Niño opened the bottle of Ayahuasca, the Ayahuasca fermented so much that it had to be poured into a larger container.
It seemed as if Niño looked at it as if it had gone bad.
But after a short time, he decided to use and distribute the Ayahuasca.
After we had all drunk the Ayahuasca, nothing happened to me again for some time.
I had almost given up hope of an encounter with Ayahuasca at this retreat.
In addition, at the beginning of this night, the barking of Niño’s dog Montesuma bothered me very much.
But I don’t know exactly why.
For the next 1.5 hours or so, almost nothing happened.
When Niño then asked if anyone else would like a bit of Ayahuasca, I gladly got up to get some more Ayahuasca.
After I had made myself comfortable on my mat again and after a while, although more was felt, but still not much happened, I asked Ayahuasca that if nothing is happening with me, then at least help my dad so that he gets healthy again.
Then it would be a shame for me but acceptable if I don’t have an enchanting experience with Ayahuasca and Pacha Mama this time.
Barely thought and internally spoken, the Ayahuasca took me very gently into her world.
First, I saw many patterns and lines until I finally noticed that I was surrounded by many forest animals.
Gradually, more and more (also other animals) came and gathered around me.
It almost gave the impression as if they gathered under me and around me to be protected and led by me.
I almost had the feeling that my long-awaited dream of being able to talk to animals had come true.
All my life, I have valued and treated every even the smallest living being or life form with respect.
Pacha Mama also didn’t miss that and entrusted me with the leadership or leadership role of all animals and living beings, which is a very great responsibility.
At times, it felt a bit like I was Noah with the ark and gather and protect all animals and living beings that have been given life by Pacha Mama.
All animals were happy and dancing around me to celebrate, honor, and crown me as their leader for my love for all animals and life forms.
Pacha Mama and Ayahuasca were with me all night long.
They also recognized and appreciated me as a kind of protector.
For me, it felt like being recognized and appreciated by the Pope or by God personally.
Then I gradually became aware of why I always search in vain for a kind of role model or example of what makes a good leader.
The reason why I no longer find a role model or example for good leadership is simply that I myself have grown into a good leader in recent years.
I am the captain of my ship, the king in my kingdom, and I determine who gets access to my ship and into my kingdom and who doesn’t.
I am strong and wise enough, have clear and understandable values (honesty, respect, loyalty, and kindness), and know how life works to make good decisions for all my “followers,” regardless of what type or form of life.
It’s also okay to banish those from my kingdom and my life who have different values and goals than I do and don’t adhere to my rules and values.
It’s okay to have other convictions, and I accept and respect everyone who wants to make something different out of their life.
But I don’t need to have or gather these people around me.
I have a great responsibility as a leader and must ensure that everyone in my kingdom and on my ship is doing well.
And you can’t always take care of everyone individually when it comes to the big picture.
Some always fall through the cracks for the good of all others.
This burden or decision, however hard it may be, lies in my hand and no one else’s.
Just as everyone must make it for themselves.
And I will honor, appreciate, and protect Pacha Mama, life, and Ayahuasca for the rest of my life.
I also had to think about my last relationship for a brief moment since I, even though I should know better, keep thinking about whether there might be a way together for us again someday.
Ayahuasca showed me two paths.
To the right would have been the way back to my ex-girlfriend, and to the left was the way forward.
The right path was rotting and decaying, eaten by maggots and worms, dark and old, not inviting at all anymore.
While the left path was a cheerful, colorful, and successful path with a future on which it goes towards happiness and satisfaction.
Whatever that means.
When I saw these two paths so clearly in front of me, the decision was very clear that I continue on the left path and won’t go back on the right one.
That was also settled very quickly and checked off from my side, as sorry as I am for my ex-girlfriend.
Everyone has their own life and is responsible for their own decisions.
My standards and expectations are very high compared to others and perhaps a bit crazy and arrogant.
I’m not willing to make compromises without further ado if I can’t stand behind or in front of them myself.
I won’t throw my convictions overboard anymore without a serious and meaningful reason.
Just as I will present and share my opinion honestly and without being insulting for no reason.
Even if it won’t be quite nice and comfortable for one or the other to hear my opinion.
Some will certainly also benefit from being shaken up a bit.
During the entire ceremony, I had to or wanted to thank Ayahuasca and Pacha Mama again and again for everything she shows me.
How fascinating, unique, and wonderful life is.
How grateful we should be that we have been given life and can experience and observe the wonders of the world.
Throughout the ceremony, Pacha Mama and Ayahuasca tried to persuade me, dancing and smiling with two cups in hand, to drink at least two full cups of Ayahuasca in the next ceremony.
While they assured me that they would watch over me.
I also saw my closest friends (around me) and realized how much I appreciate them and am glad to have them in my life.
Of course, I always knew that, but this became really clear to me again when Ayahuasca brought them before my eyes.
And for all of them, I would walk through fire and risk my life.
I also had to think about my employer and my boss for a while.
There too, I became aware that my boss is the captain on his boat and the king in his kingdom.
He also does his very best to lead his followers into a happy, rosy, and successful future.
But since I am also the captain on my own ship and the king in my own kingdom and have to take care of my followers, I will follow him until the interests and goals of both of us diverge too far.
So that I have to leave the path he is on.
But I hope that won’t be the case for a while since I respect and appreciate my boss very much.
But as I said, I have to take care of my principles and values and stand up for them.
The ceremony basically revolved very strongly around me and my abilities as a leader, so that I kept feeling very selfish and conceited.
But that’s okay again since I’m not doing these ceremonies for others, but for me and only for me.
I have to or want to work on myself.
Oh yes, Ayahuasca helps me to find myself, to accept who I am, and to be happy with it.
Nature and the animals accompanied me throughout the entire ceremony and kept assuring me that I am strong and wise enough to be a good leader.
I can take on all worries, fears, and burdens and still walk straight through life.
Pacha Mama and Ayahuasca will always be by my side and keep an eye on me.
I will honor and appreciate them forever.
Accordingly, I will adhere to the rules of nature and live my life accordingly adapted.
You have to especially appreciate and admire the small things in life.
The things that at least most people don’t perceive or don’t recognize as important.
During the entire ceremony, I didn’t have to go to the bathroom and didn’t have to throw up, which is actually not typical at all.
But on this night, I was the king in my kingdom, and I determined when to go to the bathroom or throw up.
And my “final word” was that today no one goes to the bathroom at all.
I wanted to keep Pacha Mama and Ayahuasca in me as long as only somehow possible since the time with them is very precious.
When the ceremony gradually came to an end and was closed with the final ritual, I was still in the company of Pacha Mama and Ayahuasca.
Talking directly after the ceremony is always quite difficult for me, especially after such a significant night.
I prefer to simply be silent and enjoy for myself as long as Pacha Mama and Ayahuasca are still with me.
After we had then packed up our pillow and our blanket as well as our other things, we carefully stumbled down the mountain.
You always feel a bit dizzy afterwards and during the ceremony and have quite weak knees or legs.
When we were back in the common area, I leaned against a post at the entrance and looked outside.
There was a large ant trail every night, which I liked to watch, especially on this night.
For a long time, I watched the busy ants, how each one of them spends their life bringing food into the ant colony every night to secure the survival of all.
I always made sure not to step on any of these busy ants.
However, others didn’t pay attention at all and simply crushed ants under their shoes.
Then it occurred to me that bees also work all their lives, very busy, every day, and at the end of their lives have just a small teaspoon of honey to show.
And we eat honey by the spoonful without thinking about it.
Still others kill bees simply without reason and without thinking about the consequences.
I appreciate every even the smallest life and go through life with a clear awareness of it.
I also looked at the painting on our hut for a very long time, the one with the black and yellow jaguar on it.
To the left of it, mushrooms, and to the right of it, plants with a hummingbird.
I immediately perceived a familiar energy from the black jaguar when I looked into his eyes.
I had already seen the black jaguar five years ago in a ceremony that was embodied by Pacha Mama.
With the painting or with the jaguars, I also spoke in thoughts for quite a while and kept thanking for the unique experience and the wonder of life.
After I had then put my dad to bed and the others were also in bed, I turned off the light and still sat in the dark under the canopy of our hut.
I observed and admired nature, the stars, and simply everything around me.
I could feel and perceive the energy around me.
The plants, the animals, and the spirits.
What was also very interesting was that from the moment the effect set in, as already five years ago, I moved, bent, and contorted my fingers in all conceivable directions extremely.
I had almost forgotten that you can contort fingers like that.
After a few more hours of admiring nature, I then got quite tired and finally also went to bed.
That was once again a very special night that will stay in my memory for a long time.
Many thanks to Pacha Mama, Ayahuasca, Niño, and his brothers.
03.05.2024
After this incredible night yesterday, I spent half the day today writing down what I experienced.
Today the remaining participants who were here for a few days also left.
After the farewell, we were alone again.
Now it’s just my dad and me, with Niño and his two brothers, of course.
We spent the rest of the day relaxed again and admired nature.
After a good, successful ceremony, you look at nature and the surroundings quite differently.
In the afternoon into the night, a fire was still burning in the fireplace, which we naturally also enjoyed very much until we finally went to bed.
Every day there was also a Mukura Masterplants Mojito de la selva, tastes like radish.
