When my father was diagnosed with cancer, I knew I had to do something extraordinary to support his healing journey.
Five years after my own transformative Ayahuasca retreat in Bolivia, I decided to invite him to join me for a 10-day healing retreat at the same retreat center with the same shaman, Niño.
What followed was one of the most emotionally intense, spiritually profound, and deeply bonding experiences of my life.
This journey tested my faith in Ayahuasca’s healing power, deepened my love for my father, and revealed the true meaning of family, leadership, and unconditional support.
This Ayahuasca retreat with my dad was a journey into the heart of healing.
The Journey Begins: Munich to Bolivia
On April 21st, 2024, my mother drove us to the airport in Munich.
Our journey to Bolivia began.
We flew from Munich to Frankfurt to Bogota to La Paz.
When we finally arrived at La Paz airport at 2 AM on April 22nd, we received the first of many challenges:
Our backpacks were still in Germany.
The airport staff assured us they would arrive on the next flight.
They promised to deliver them to our hotel.
We decided to trust the process and make the best of it.
My dad and I spent the next few hours at the airport until sunrise.
Then we checked into Hotel Diamante Azul in La Paz.
We both immediately felt the altitude difference.
La Paz sits at 3,650 meters above sea level.
Even this elevation was challenging for my dad’s body.
He had to breathe quite heavily just to supply his body with enough oxygen.
This Ayahuasca retreat with my dad was already pushing our limits.
A Father’s Courage
We spent the day exploring La Paz.
I was amazed at how well I still remembered the city after five years away.
We stumbled upon a cleansing ceremony at the Plaza.
A shaman was performing a ceremony for Pacha Mama.
This was a perfect introduction to Bolivian culture for my dad.
Later, we took the Teleférico cable car to the “Valle de la Luna” (Valley of the Moon).
It is a stunning natural wonder that looked almost lunar in its otherworldly landscape.
On April 24th, we boarded a flight to Rurrenabaque.
The weather was so bad that the airport was temporarily closed.
Our flight was delayed by two hours.
Once we arrived, we settled into a nice hotel with a beautiful rooftop terrace.
We spent the next few days relaxing and preparing mentally for the retreat.
We also built bonds with the local community.
On April 27th, our shaman Niño picked us up.
I experienced an incredibly moving reunion with him after five years.
We also met Sophie, a participant from Norway, and the rest of the retreat team.
Niño introduced us to his brothers, Chiqui and Arnold.
He gave us a tour of the retreat center before lunch.
This Ayahuasca retreat with my dad was finally beginning to feel like a homecoming.
Fun Fact:
The “Valle de la Luna” got its name when astronaut Neil Armstrong—yes, THE Neil Armstrong who walked on the moon—visited the location.
He mentioned that it looked almost exactly like the lunar surface he’d seen up close.
This gave the valley its distinctive name based on the testimony of someone who actually knew what the moon looked like.
The Tobacco Ceremony: Preparation and Family Bonding
That evening, we gathered in the Maloka for the tobacco ceremony.
This is the mandatory cleansing ritual that prepares the body and spirit for the Ayahuasca ceremonies to come.
Before the ceremony, I spoke intensively with my dad about the importance of throwing up during the ceremony.
I knew from my own experience that if you don’t purge, you feel terrible afterward.
I also knew that my dad and I both have very stable stomachs.
This is a family trait that would become apparent during the ceremony.
When the ceremony began, I drank about 8.5 liters of water.
I threw up 35 times (the last time only a little bit).
My dad, true to family form, drank enormous amounts of water.
He resisted throwing up for a very long time.
I kept encouraging him: “You can stop drinking as soon as you throw up.”
He would respond, “But I’ve already drunk so much water!”
I kept reminding him that he could stop as soon as his body purged.
After about two hours, it finally happened for him too.
The ceremony leaders were actually amazed at how long it took for my dad to purge.
They’d never seen anyone resist for quite so long.
This was a vulnerable moment for my dad, pushing his body to its limits.
I was proud to be the first one to throw up that night.
I’d achieved my goal of not being the last one to purge.
This had bothered me during my previous tobacco ceremony.
After about 2.5 hours, the ceremony ended.
We all had a restless night with frequent bathroom visits every 30 minutes.
But we were prepared.
We were ready for what was to come in our Ayahuasca retreat with my dad.
Fun Fact:
The tobacco plant contains nicotine.
This is one of the most addictive substances known to humans.
Yet indigenous shamans have used tobacco for thousands of years in ceremonial contexts.
It actually promotes relaxation and spiritual opening rather than addiction.
This suggests that set, setting, and intention can completely change how a substance affects consciousness.
First Ayahuasca Ceremony: A Father’s Battle with Cancer
On April 28th, after breakfast and a restless night, we set off to Santa Rosa.
We took a boat trip into the famous Pampas.
The drive took about 3.5 hours each way.
Along the way, we saw incredible wildlife:
Pink dolphins, native turtles, monkeys (who enjoyed the bananas we offered), and many beautiful birds and butterflies.
The water level was two to three meters above normal.
The crocodiles were all underwater.
This meant we didn’t see them, though Niño did jump into the water briefly with his dog to cool off.
He quickly climbed back out due to the crocodile danger.
After returning from the Pampas, we had about two hours to relax before the first Ayahuasca ceremony at 8:30 PM.
When we gathered in the Maloka, Niño and his brothers reviewed the ceremony rules.
Then one by one, we approached to receive our cups of Ayahuasca.
I received two cups and made myself comfortable on my mat.
I intended to focus on my own experience.
But as soon as I felt the first effects of Ayahuasca, I noticed my dad beginning to sob.
My concern for him immediately overrode my own experience.
I kept asking Ayahuasca to watch over my dad, to take care of him.
I was willing to forego my own experience for his wellbeing.
As the ceremony progressed, my dad’s physical struggle became more intense.
His body began to cramp severely, especially in the abdominal area.
He twitched a lot.
Niño and both his brothers engaged very intensively with my dad.
They worked to help him through the experience.
At one point, I could no longer stay on my mat.
I had to move closer to my dad and ask Niño if everything was okay and if I could help.
Niño assured me that this was a very strong but normal reaction.
He said Ayahuasca was helping my dad banish the bad and sick energy from his body.
My dad grabbed my arm and told me, “It feels like I’m fighting the cancer in me with the support of Ayahuasca.”
I told him, “Then make sure you come out as the winner.”
Throughout the ceremony, my dad had to go to the bathroom several times.
I supported him as best I could.
At one point, I saw how hard it was for Niño and his brothers to support my dad.
He could no longer walk on his own or keep himself on his feet.
I decided to help them support him to the bathroom.
There, my dad struggled with severe diarrhea.
He was incredibly grateful that I was there to hold and support him.
When I looked at his face on the toilet, something extraordinary happened.
His face seemed to shift from moment to moment.
It cycled between a healthy face and a very sick, cancerous face – tormented by chemotherapy and severe weight loss, almost skeletal, then back again.
This was a deeply vulnerable moment for both of us during our Ayahuasca retreat with my dad.
Witnessing the Battle
Back in the Maloka, Niño’s dog Montesuma started barking and ran out.
Then he suddenly squeaked and went silent.
I was almost certain the dog had been caught by an anaconda.
Niño was worried too.
But his brothers returned after ten minutes with the dog unharmed.
Throughout the ceremony, the dog seemed to sense my worry about my dad.
He came to cuddle with me, providing comfort and distraction.
When the ceremony ended around 3 AM and Niño brought everyone back, I was amazed.
Despite all the difficulties and struggles, my dad was very enthusiastic about the ceremony and his experience.
He kept thanking me for being there with him.
We talked about his experience as best we could.
That night, we all slept very well.
We were excited about the second ceremony of our Ayahuasca retreat with my dad.
Fun Fact:
The human body’s stress response system (the sympathetic nervous system) can actually suppress immune function.
The relaxation response (the parasympathetic nervous system) enhances immune function.
This means that Ayahuasca’s ability to induce deep relaxation might have genuine physiological benefits for cancer patients.
It allows the immune system to function more effectively.
Fun Fact:
Dogs have been shown in scientific studies to have an almost supernatural ability to sense human emotions.
They can even predict medical events like seizures or blood sugar drops in diabetics.
This phenomenon suggests that dogs might have access to subtle physiological cues that humans can’t consciously perceive.
Second Ayahuasca Ceremony: Cancer as an Intelligent Life Form
After a good sleep and a delicious breakfast, we spent April 29th reflecting on and reviewing what we’d experienced the night before.
We talked a lot with Niño about my dad’s experience.
Niño shared something fascinating:
When he worked with my dad’s cancer during the ceremony, he had a conversation with the cancer itself.
Niño explained that cancer is a very intelligent life form.
It doesn’t want to just disappear from my dad’s body because that would mean the cancer’s death.
Like all living things, cancer has the urge to survive.
If it could, it would jump to another host body to secure its survival.
But Niño didn’t allow that.
He forbade the cancer from jumping to him, his brothers, the other participants, or even his dog.
Niño also said there was still work to come for him, my dad, and Ayahuasca to completely defeat the cancer and release it from my dad’s body.
This was a profound insight from our Ayahuasca retreat with my dad.
On April 30th, we took a walk in the jungle.
Niño showed us the Ayahuasca vines growing in their natural habitat.
He explained facts about them.
The walk was exhausting for my dad.
His circulation got weak and he fell down a few times, scraping his knee despite my best efforts to help him.
We were just finishing lunch when we were informed that a taxi had arrived.
It was to take us to the 408th anniversary celebration of the village of San José, located deep in the jungle.
The village head personally introduced himself to each of us.
He welcomed us with a handshake.
Then he introduced us again with a microphone and loudspeaker in front of the entire village.
It was overwhelming but also incredibly special.
The village had never experienced anything quite like this before.
The celebration was like a small local carnival.
Different groups danced through the main street, honoring their saints with fanfare.
It was beautiful and unique.
We felt privileged to be part of it.
After returning to the retreat center, I jumped into the shower to prepare for the second Ayahuasca ceremony at 9 PM.
This ceremony was noticeably less intense than the first one for me personally.
I had very many thoughts in my head but couldn’t think any through before a new one emerged.
I kept perceiving my dad, who was still having quite a bit of work to do, though not quite as intense as the first night.
Also during this ceremony I could observe Niño pulling a “spirit” out of my dad.
He was discussing with it in the middle of the Maloka until he drove it out.
I didn’t see the spirit itself, but it was clearly recognizable that Niño was having a conversation with one or more spirits.
At one of these moments, I had the feeling that the cancer from my dad was now completely or almost completely banished from his body.
My dad himself said that his work isn’t quite finished yet.
But he’s on the right path and will soon manage to banish the cancer from his body.
I was a bit disappointed not to feel Ayahuasca quite as intensely in this ceremony as in the first one.
In the first ceremony, Ayahuasca was ready, but I wasn’t.
Now, in the second ceremony, I was ready, but Ayahuasca wasn’t.
Also I had quite a few slightly negative thoughts about myself and about life.
I thought that perhaps I should turn away emotionally from the world.
I should become a bit harder and not have to accept everything that society tries to impose on me.
Life is hard and nothing for the weak.
People are very hard to understand.
They’ve forgotten the laws of nature and are turning more and more away from it.
This will be a big mistake if it continues.
Since no one protects me or can protect me, I have to take care of it myself.
I have to show strength and take leadership in my life.
I have to become a strong pillar for others.
This was a vulnerable moment of self-doubt during our Ayahuasca retreat with my dad.
Fun Fact:
Cancer cells are actually immortal in a biological sense.
They can divide indefinitely without the normal cellular aging process.
This is why cancer researchers study cancer cells to understand aging itself.
It is also why cancer is sometimes called “immortality gone wrong.”
The Weight of Leadership
I have the strength to take on the weaknesses, fears, and worries of others.
I can still walk straight through life.
Perhaps that was what Ayahuasca wanted to convey to me with her absence that night.
I had very much hoped that Ayahuasca and Mother Nature would help me again to find my way in life.
They had during my previous retreat.
But I realized that I can now navigate through life very well myself.
I have seen through life and our society quite well.
That was my thought process during that night.
I was excited about what the next days and ceremonies would bring in our Ayahuasca retreat with my dad.
Third Ayahuasca Ceremony: Leadership, Animals, and Life Direction
On May 2nd, we had a very relaxed morning with breakfast.
Then we set off to “Laguna Verde” (Green Lake) to swim and enjoy a delicious lunch in the middle of the jungle.
It was a beautifully landscaped small lake about 100 meters in diameter.
It had lovely little huts and flowers.
Next door was a super beautifully landscaped fruit and herb garden.
It had between 25 and 30 different fruits and herbs.
The owner gave us a tour and let us try various fruits and herbs.
This was a generous gift of his time and knowledge.
On the way back, disaster struck.
The left front tire of our car suddenly blew out.
It bounced next to us several times, almost reaching the roof height of the car.
When we inspected the damage, we discovered that almost all five nuts on the tire had loosened and fallen off at the same time due to vibration.
We searched and found four out of five nuts.
Then the team simply knocked the sand out of the wheel, re-cut the threads, and screwed the tire back on.
The tire had a big cut in the casing.
I was 99% sure it wouldn’t survive the journey back.
But surprisingly, we made it back to the retreat center without further breakdown.
That evening, we gathered in the Maloka at 8:30 PM for the third Ayahuasca ceremony.
When Niño opened the bottle of Ayahuasca, it had fermented so much that it had to be poured into a larger container.
For a moment, Niño looked concerned that it might have gone bad.
But he decided to use and distribute it anyway.
After I drank my cup, nothing happened to me for about 1.5 hours.
I had almost given up hope of an encounter with Ayahuasca at this retreat.
Niño’s dog Montesuma’s barking bothered me very much at the beginning.
I didn’t know exactly why.
When Niño asked if anyone wanted more Ayahuasca, I gladly got up to receive a second cup.
After I made myself comfortable again, although more was felt, still not much happened.
I asked Ayahuasca that if nothing is happening with me, then at least help my dad so that he gets healthy again.
I told her it would be a shame for me but acceptable if I don’t have an enchanting experience with Ayahuasca and Pacha Mama this time.
Barely had I thought and internally spoken these words when Ayahuasca took me very gently into her world.
This was a pivotal moment in our Ayahuasca retreat with my dad.
First, I saw many patterns and lines.
Then I gradually noticed that I was surrounded by many forest animals.
Gradually, more and more animals came and gathered around me.
They were creatures from every ecosystem imaginable.
It almost gave the impression as if they gathered under me and around me to be protected and led by me.
I almost had the feeling that my long-awaited dream of being able to talk to animals had come true.
All my life, I have valued and treated every even the smallest living being or life form with respect.
Pacha Mama recognized that.
She entrusted me with the leadership or leadership role of all animals and living beings.
This is a very great responsibility.
At times, it felt a bit like I was Noah with the ark.
I was gathering and protecting all animals and living beings that have been given life by Pacha Mama.
All animals were happy and dancing around me.
They were celebrating, honoring, and crowning me as their leader for my love for all animals and life forms.
Pacha Mama and Ayahuasca were with me all night long.
They were recognizing and appreciating me as a kind of protector.
For me, it felt like being recognized and appreciated by the Pope or by God personally.
Then I gradually became aware of why I always search in vain for a kind of role model or example of what makes a good leader.
The reason why I no longer find a role model or example for good leadership is simply that I myself have grown into a good leader in recent years.
I am the captain of my ship, the king in my kingdom.
I determine who gets access to my ship and into my kingdom and who doesn’t.
And I am strong and wise enough.
I have clear and understandable values (honesty, respect, loyalty, and kindness).
I know how life works to make good decisions for all my “followers,” regardless of what type or form of life.
It’s also okay to banish those from my kingdom and my life who have different values and goals than I do.
They don’t adhere to my rules and values.
It’s okay to have other convictions.
I accept and respect everyone who wants to make something different out of their life.
But I don’t need to have or gather these people around me.
I have a great responsibility as a leader.
I must ensure that everyone in my kingdom and on my ship is doing well.
You can’t always take care of everyone individually when it comes to the big picture.
Some always fall through the cracks for the good of all others.
This burden or decision, however hard it may be, lies in my hand and no one else’s.
Just as everyone must make it for themselves.
I also had to think about my last relationship for a brief moment.
Ayahuasca showed me two paths.
To the right would have been the way back to my ex-girlfriend.
To the left was the way forward.
The right path was rotting and decaying.
It was eaten by maggots and worms, dark and old, not inviting at all anymore.
The left path was a cheerful, colorful, and successful path with a future.
It goes towards happiness and satisfaction.
When I saw these two paths so clearly in front of me, the decision was very clear.
Throughout the ceremony, I had to or wanted to thank Ayahuasca and Pacha Mama again and again for everything she shows me.
How fascinating, unique, and wonderful life is.
How grateful we should be that we have been given life.
We can experience and observe the wonders of the world.
Throughout the ceremony, Pacha Mama and Ayahuasca tried to persuade me.
They were dancing and smiling with two cups in hand.
They wanted me to drink at least two full cups of Ayahuasca in the next ceremony.
But they also assured me that they would watch over me.
I also saw my closest friends around me.
I realized how much I appreciate them and am glad to have them in my life.
Of course, I always knew that.
But this became really clear to me again when Ayahuasca brought them before my eyes.
For all of them, I would walk through fire and risk my life.
I also had to think about my employer and my boss for a while.
There too, I became aware that my boss is the captain on his boat and the king in his kingdom.
He also does his very best to lead his followers into a happy, rosy, and successful future.
But since I am also the captain on my own ship and the king in my own kingdom, I have to take care of my followers.
I will follow him until the interests and goals of both of us diverge too far.
If that should be the case one day, I will leave his ship and his kingdom.
I will continue on my own path.
But as I respect my employer a lot, I hope that our values stay aligned in the future as well.
This was a powerful lesson in leadership from our Ayahuasca retreat with my dad.
Fun Fact:
The pineal gland in the human brain produces melatonin.
This regulates sleep-wake cycles.
But it also produces trace amounts of DMT – the active compound in Ayahuasca.
This suggests that the brain might have its own built-in mechanism for accessing altered states of consciousness.
Ayahuasca might simply be amplifying what the brain can already do naturally.
The King of My Own Kingdom
Accordingly, I will adhere to the rules of nature.
My life will be lived in adaptation to these rules.
It is essential to appreciate and admire the small things in life.
My own hand, for instance, became a source of profound wonder.
For a long time, I admired its intricate design.
The perfection of its construction and function was a source of amazement.
The countless small details, the seamless coordination, the skin’s regenerative power, and the body’s ability to heal itself were all sources of awe.
The body’s adaptability to different situations, its self-protection from external influences, its self-regulation, and its ability to maintain balance were all sources of wonder.
The body’s internal communication, the coordination of its functions, and its incredible capacity for regeneration and healing were all sources of profound admiration.
After a few more hours of admiring nature, I then got quite tired.
I finally also went to bed.
That was once again a very special night.
It will stay in my memory for a long time.
This Ayahuasca retreat with my dad was full of surprises.
Fun Fact:
The human hand has 27 bones, 34 muscles, and over 100 ligaments.
This makes it one of the most complex and flexible structures in the human body.
This is why hand movements during Ayahuasca experiences might reflect the brain’s heightened awareness of proprioception (body awareness) and motor control.
Fourth Ayahuasca Ceremony: Dinosaurs, Family, and Final Healing
On May 3rd, we had a very relaxed day with breakfast.
Then we went for a walk in the jungle.
Niño showed us various plants and explained their healing properties.
He also showed us a tree that is over 1,000 years old.
It has a diameter of over 10 meters.
It was an impressive sight.
I felt a deep sense of reverence for this ancient being.
That evening, we gathered in the Maloka for the fourth and final Ayahuasca ceremony.
I was determined to drink two full cups of Ayahuasca.
Pacha Mama and Ayahuasca had recommended this to me in the previous ceremony.
I was a bit nervous, but I trusted that they would watch over me.
After I drank the two almost full cups, the effects began very quickly and very intensely.
I saw dinosaurs, huge and majestic creatures.
They roamed the earth millions of years ago.
I saw the evolution of life on our planet.
I saw it from the first single-celled organisms to the complex ecosystems we have today.
Suddenly I was on a large wide grassy area, surrounded by a huge wild jungle.
Dinosaurs ran out everywhere.
It was really like I had jumped completely real into this world and into this time.
The dinosaurs simply walked right past me and didn’t pay much attention to me.
There were also only large herbivores to be seen, far and wide no carnivores or scavengers like, for example, a Tyrannosaurus Rex or raptors to be seen.
Currently, I’m reading the book by Bill Bryson, “A Short History of Nearly Everything,” and again and again the researchers who found the first dinosaur bones and provided the first evidence for the era of the dinosaurs appeared in the sky and disappeared again.
Again and again, I had almost identical experiences as in Jurassic Park.
I was right in the middle of it.
Again and again, I was in this laboratory where they raised or hatched the eggs and looked at the processes.
Then I was suddenly in the jeep with which they drove through the parks and zones.
However, I didn’t have fences but open areas and huge rainforests.
And suddenly the feeling of Jurassic Park was gone again.
The jeeps were gone, and I was alone again, without a jeep, on the large wide grassy area.
Suddenly there were many huge mosquitoes and huge dragonflies around me and kept trying to attack and sting me.
A few also succeeded, and others flew very close past me.
When I say huge, then the size of the body is about one meter to 1.5 meters long and a wingspan of about two meters.
So really huge!
There in this world, I was really for a very long time and enjoyed every moment incredibly.
I also saw my own life, from my childhood to the present day.
I saw my successes and my failures, my joys and my sorrows.
And I saw the people who have come into my life.
I saw the lessons they have taught me.
I felt a deep sense of acceptance and forgiveness for myself and for others.
And I realized that everything in my life has happened for a reason.
Every experience has been a valuable lesson.
I felt a deep sense of peace and contentment.
Fun Fact:
The human genome contains about 3 billion base pairs of DNA.
We share about 99.9% of our DNA with every other human on the planet.
We also share about 98% of our DNA with chimpanzees, our closest living relatives.
A Warning from Ayahuasca
And suddenly, out of nowhere and completely unexpected, something, a jaguar, roared and screamed so much that it ripped me out of this world of dinosaurs in one blow.
My heart almost stopped, and it scared me incredibly.
This shook my inner world completely, so that it went through my marrow and bone.
This fear and panic is impossible to describe.
I thought, now my time has come to die and be eaten by the jaguar.
I was so startled, and it was so real that I immediately (and also the only time at all) opened my eyes to see where the jaguar was.
As I had the feeling as if the jaguar was in the middle of the Maloka and about to devour us.
It was indescribably terrifying, simply terrifying!
So when I opened my eyes in shock, I could actually see a huge jaguar in the Maloka, which shortly afterwards fused with our shaman.
On the second scream, a combination of jaguar and shaman stood before me and shook everything around me and in me through all existing dimensions and made it tremble.
Every straight line I saw distorted and warped like at high frequencies.
I felt this fear and panic in every corner of my body.
I don’t know if I have ever been so afraid of something in my life.
And I will never be able to describe well enough how terrifying that was.
Since I had my eyes open at this point, I could have thought that I could still see a huge anaconda making its rounds in the roof structure of the Maloka.
And a few other animals too, but since I was so shaken by the hissing of the jaguar, I couldn’t really recognize anything.
It took some time until I had calmed down a bit again.
When I had finally calmed down a bit again, I gradually dove back into the world of the dinosaurs from which I had been so violently torn before.
For the rest of the ceremony, I had to or wanted to keep thinking about this moment of terror and understood that this moment was a kind of warning from Ayahuasca to me.
Even though Ayahuasca can help us, heal us, or bring us joy, she can also just as easily teach us fear if Ayahuasca decided to.
You should always approach Ayahuasca with respect and humility and never take her healing power for granted.
Ayahuasca and Mother Nature are a gift that you should always appreciate and perceive as very special.
Otherwise, Ayahuasca can very quickly unleash hell on us and mentally break and destroy us.
Ayahuasca and Mother Nature are extremely powerful.
A Promise to My Family
So when I was back in the world of the dinos, I was lying very relaxed on the large meadow and enjoying the moment.
When the shaman Niño tickled my feet with a plant fan and slowly tickled up and down my body, I opened my eyes in thoughts lying on the large meadow and saw how a dinosaur sniffed me from top to bottom.
I had to smirk and grin at that.
When Niño’s dog Montesuma then also pressed his wet nose into my face and walked over me, I had the feeling that another dinosaur was interested in me and licked my face.
That somehow made me very happy, which reminded me of a good connection to the dinos.
Because of this feeling, I then had to think about my family.
And suddenly I saw the rough contours of my two grandfathers, which I just couldn’t see clearly enough.
But I somehow knew it was them.
Only when my two grandmothers appeared could I also see my grandfathers.
Presumably simply because they complement each other.
Then suddenly my parents appeared, and I became aware of how well or excellently they raised me and my brother and how grateful we must be for such great parents.
With full dedication and sacrifice, they always tried to make everything possible for us that we wanted or needed.
With my mom, I also stayed for a longer time and had to realize or admit that I wasn’t always fair to her.
Also to my father, but at this moment everything revolved around my mom.
It’s high time that I show my love for my mom better and hug her more often and give her just as much support and security as she has done all these years.
She always tried to help us as best she could, and even more, no matter what I or we asked her for.
And it’s time to appreciate and give back!
As soon as I come back from this journey, that will change.
Then I saw my brother with his family.
When I saw and admired my niece, I noticed that I had never held my niece in my arms and that I definitely have to or want to change that too.
When my brother’s daughter was three days old, he offered me to hold her.
At that time, I still said no because I was of the opinion that the first days of a new life are very important to only be with the parents.
The new life must first adjust and get used to their parents and the new world.
The transition should be as gentle as possible in my opinion, and at the beginning, surely too many people already want to welcome the baby to the world anyway.
Some who have already had children themselves could certainly confirm that.
Since then, however, there would have been several times when it would have been appropriate, but I didn’t ask.
I’m incredibly sorry about that since it would have certainly also pleased my brother.
After all, I’m the uncle of the little one.
I will also change that as soon as possible as soon as I’m back home.
Then gradually all members of our large family came before my eyes, from uncles and aunts, godparents, cousins, and their children, simply each and every one.
Then I remembered that after my last trip, I wanted to organize a meeting once a month where everyone is invited to come if they feel like it and have time so as not to completely lose sight of each other.
I just have to take the first step and reach out my hand.
Someone has to take the first step.
I will do that now.
Integration and Final Reflections
The last few days of the retreat were spent integrating our experiences.
We talked with Niño and his brothers.
And we prepared to return to our normal lives.
We all felt a deep sense of gratitude for the healing and transformation we had experienced.
We knew that our lives would never be the same again.
My dad and I will carry the memories and insights from this retreat for the rest of our lives.
Fun Fact:
The effects of Ayahuasca can last for several weeks or even months after the ceremony.
The brain continues to process the experience and integrate the new insights.
Fun Fact:
Many people who participate in Ayahuasca ceremonies report a lasting sense of connection to nature.
They have a greater appreciation for life and a deeper sense of purpose.
If you like, check out my full diary here!
What are your thoughts on using Ayahuasca for healing?
Have you ever witnessed a loved one go through a similar journey?
Share your thoughts with me on my social media channels!
I’d love to hear about your own experiences.
Peace,
Ralph.
