Trip to the Pampas and First Ayahuasca Ceremony
28.04.2024
After breakfast and a restless night, we set off quite quickly to Santa Rosa to take a small boat trip into the famous Pampas.
About 3.5 hours of driving lay ahead of us per route.
But before we got on the boat on the “Rio Yacuma,” there was a delicious chicken soup with rice, fish, and vegetables for lunch in Santa Rosa.
When we were on the boat and caught a brutal sunburn during the ride, we saw many beautiful plants and also many great animals.
Many different birds and butterflies, pink dolphins, some native turtles, a suspected caiman, and quite a few monkeys who got a few bananas from us.
Since the water level was two to three meters above the normal level, there were unfortunately no sandbanks that the crocodiles normally use for sunbathing.
Therefore, no crocodiles were to be seen.
They were all underwater!
Nevertheless, Niño jumped into the water from the boat with his dog for a brief moment to cool off a bit.
But climbed out quickly with his dog because of the crocodiles.
It was a really nice excursion, and when we were back on land, we had to get on the long way back quite quickly since we had our first Ayahuasca ceremony in the evening.
When we were back at the retreat center, we still had about two hours to relax before the ceremony started at 08:30 PM.
During this time, I was able to discuss a few things with my dad about what was coming for him.
My dad himself still had one or two questions that I could answer for him.
When we gathered in the Maloka at 08:30 PM, things started quite promptly to address and go through the rules again.
Then one went one by one (one after the other) to the front at the shaman’s altar to receive the cup of Ayahuasca to drink.
You also received a glass of water to wash it down.
After that, there was immediately another cup of Ayahuasca with another glass of water to wash it down.
Then you got the good-smelling oil in your hands to rub, to smell it again and again when the urge to throw up would become too great.
Then you could slowly and carefully go back to your place and make yourself comfortable again.
Then it was time for the next person to come to the shaman’s altar.
When everyone had received their Ayahuasca and was back at their respective place, silence returned for a certain time.
Then the shaman Niño started to sing and play his instruments.
It was a very beautiful atmosphere.
His brothers also played a few melodies again and again.
So when I was back at my place, I lay down on my back with my eyes closed and tried to concentrate or focus a bit on what intentions I have for this ceremony.
This only worked more or less well since I realized relatively quickly that my thoughts are with my dad.
I rather asked Ayahuasca to take good care of my dad, and I gladly forego my own experience with Ayahuasca for this night.
I was also able to let myself into the Ayahuasca quite quickly.
The first effects were already slightly noticeable until I noticed more and more my dad’s sobbing.
At this point, I worried about my dad for the first time that night.
At the same time, the increasing or emerging feeling and the effects of Ayahuasca withdrew a bit from me, so that I could concentrate or pay attention to my dad a bit better.
Meanwhile, I kept asking Ayahuasca to watch over my dad.
When he had calmed down a bit again and I could perceive a slight giggle, I was a bit more reassured, so I thanked Ayahuasca and could let myself fall again more.
At this point, I had no idea how intense the night and the ceremony would continue or become for my dad.
Ayahuasca kept trying to draw me into her spell and take me on a journey.
But I couldn’t really let myself fall, to be honest.
I also thank Ayahuasca very much for having the respect and understanding to stay a bit in the background while I concentrated on my dad.
I was definitely under the influence of Ayahuasca, and again and again she tried to accompany me into her world.
However, that wasn’t very easy since my dad was getting increasingly worse.
Then he also reached a point where he started to breathe harder and more irregularly.
In addition, his whole body started to cramp, especially in the abdominal area.
He twitched a lot, and the shaman and both of his brothers were very intensively engaged with my dad.
At this point, I was really very worried.
So much so that I could no longer continue lying on my mat and had to slide over to my dad and to our shaman.
When I then asked Niño if everything was okay or if I could help him, he assured me that this was a very strong but normal reaction of my father and that I didn’t need to worry.
He explained to me that the Ayahuasca supports my dad to banish the bad and sick energy from my father.
I simply kept stroking my dad’s back and offered him emotional and mental support.
At some point, he grabbed my arm and told me that it feels like he’s fighting the cancer in him with the support of Ayahuasca.
I then told him that in that case, he should also make sure that he comes out as the winner.
That calmed me down a bit, and I kept thinking that you just have to trust Ayahuasca.
Nevertheless, I couldn’t just go back to my mat and leave my dad to his “fate.”
He had a really bad conscience towards me because I should have concentrated on myself.
I kept assuring him that we are here because of him and his health, and everything else is not so important.
He should concentrate on himself, and I’ll look after him as best I can, of course with the shamans.
I couldn’t do much except be mental support.
When my dad had to go to the bathroom the first two or three times, I let him go alone with Niño and his brothers for now.
During this time, I could then concentrate on myself again a bit and relax a bit.
Once, Ayahuasca almost managed to accompany or guide me through the entrance gates into her world.
I saw a few very beautiful and colorful hallucinations for a brief moment before I worried about my dad again because he had been in the bathroom a bit longer than normal.
So I decided to turn around again and not go through her gates with Ayahuasca.
As I said, Ayahuasca was very understanding and respectful and left me the choice of how I decide.
When I then saw that Niño and his two brothers were having a hard time with a big and medium-heavy man, I decided to support them since my dad could no longer walk on his own or keep himself on his feet.
When we had placed him back on his mat together and he was still fighting, I talked with Niño for quite a while about how he, as a shaman, can help other people with the support of Ayahuasca.
Or how Ayahuasca gives him instructions or tips to support people on their hard path, like with my dad.
I remember having a very interesting conversation, but since I still felt the effects of Ayahuasca strongly despite everything, I can’t remember many details.
In any case, after a while, it felt to me as if I were another “assistant” of Niño and the Ayahuasca.
That was also a very interesting and enlightening experience for me, which I appreciate very much.
When my dad had to go to the bathroom again and I saw how hard it was for them to support the big man, I then decided to support them and followed them all to the bathroom.
There my dad also had a hard time with diarrhea and was very glad that I was here to hold and support him.
He kept thanking me that I’m here, supporting him and sharing this experience with him.
He definitely looked very worn out and exhausted.
When I looked at his face there on the toilet, it seemed to me as if his face and his body changed from one moment to the next from a healthy face relatively quickly, in phases, to a very sick and (I don’t know how else to describe it) cancerous face and body.
Tormented by many chemos and severe weight loss, almost to the skeleton, and then back again.
The whole time alternating until we were back in the Maloka.
Back in the Maloka, a few minutes later, Niño’s dog “Montesuma” started barking for the first time and ran out of the Maloka and barked everywhere.
Suddenly it only squeaked briefly, and then there was silence again.
At this point, Niño sang an anaconda song, and I’m not sure if it was really because of that, but I was almost certain that the dog was now caught by an anaconda.
Niño was also worried and immediately sent his brothers to look for his dog.
After ten minutes, however, the three of them came back unharmed.
Niño’s dog was also generally a great help to me during the ceremony when I kept worrying about my dad.
The dog sensed that and came to cuddle with me to distract me a bit.
I’ve already read a lot about how some dogs have a really good feeling when it comes to such ceremonies.
And I can now clearly confirm that.
When the shaman then slowly ended the ceremony shortly after 03:00 AM and freed us one by one from the spirits and the other worlds and brought us back, everyone slowly came to their senses.
What surprised me very much was that my dad, despite all the difficulties and struggles, was very enthusiastic about the ceremony and his experience in or during it.
He kept thanking me that I’m here and doing this with him.
Afterwards, we talked about our experience as best we could.
Although it was difficult to talk about it without first collecting and organizing one’s thoughts.
That night we all slept very well and are very excited about the second ceremony.
29.04.2024
After we slept very well today, there was something delicious to eat again.
The food tastes excellent every time.
Today we all used the day to reflect on and review what we experienced the night before.
We spent the whole day very relaxed.
My dad and I talked a lot about his experiences from last night to properly classify the experiences.
Of course, we also talked with the other participants.
In the afternoon, we all gathered with Niño again in the Maloka to also talk with Niño himself once more about what we experienced.
Which was really also very nice and helpful.
One of his brothers, for example, told us that when he saw how hard my dad had to fight, he almost wanted to complain about the Ayahuasca juice to Ayahuasca.
He saw how strongly the Ayahuasca worked with my dad.
And that was the first time for him that he himself prepared and cooked the medicine.
That’s why he also felt very responsible when my dad had to fight so much.
But the Ayahuasca also assured him that everything is proceeding properly and this process is the right one.
When he told that, Niño and his other brother Arnold had to grin and smile or already giggle slightly.
Because he told it very humorously.
In any case, it was very heartwarming to see and hear that despite the difficult ceremony for my dad, it was no exception and it was quite normal for the kind of treatment that my dad needs because of the cancer.
They assured us of that again and again.
Everything quite normal, no worries.
We are both already very excited about the day and the second ceremony tomorrow and are open to whatever may come.
