Have you ever felt like you’re constantly being measured against impossible standards?
Like no matter what you achieve, it’s never quite enough?
This was my reality before I embarked on a journey that would fundamentally change who I am.
This is the story of how travel became more than just an adventure—it became the path to discovering my true self, free from the judgments and expectations that had shaped my early life.
The Seed of Wanderlust
I knew I wanted to go traveling right at the beginning of my apprenticeship.
At that time, I was only 16 years old.
For the next years, I’ve been doing a lot of daydreaming about the places I could travel to after I would’ve finished my apprenticeship.
I decided it had to be a place which was as far away as possible.
That was it—I needed to go as far away as possible.
That was all I knew back then.
At the end of my apprenticeship, I turned my dreams into reality, booked a flight to New Zealand, and started packing.
Fun Fact: Research from Cornell University suggests that the anticipation of travel can increase happiness more than the anticipation of acquiring material possessions.
This “pre-trip happiness” can last for up to eight weeks before the actual journey begins, explaining why those years of daydreaming about travel might have been so psychologically valuable.
Escaping the “Not Good Enough” Narrative
Later in my life, I found out the real reason why I needed to get away from everything as far as possible.
Over time I realized that most people in my life (and most likely also in yours) tell you that you are not good enough for this and that, or that you are not doing enough of something.
“You need to keep practicing to get better!”
“Haven’t you practiced since we did that last? You should have improved by now!”
“You just suck at that!”
“Why don’t you do more of this and that?”
It doesn’t matter if it is in school, university, apprenticeship, with friends or family, or in fact with anyone else, if you really think about it.
How many times did you have an idea, some good grades, plans, or a good solution for something?
And how many times did teachers tell you: “Well, your grade was good, but there is still room to improve.”
Doesn’t matter if you had a C+ or A-; there is always room to improve.
Or when your friends tell you every time they wanna play soccer how much you suck at it.
Or when you have a good idea for something and people tell you:
“That is a great idea, but do you think that you are able to make it all the way? I mean, you really need to be smart, rich, already successful, have a lot of connections… I don’t think you are able to do that, or you need to sacrifice a ton of free time and your hard-earned money in it (or some other excuse – fill yours in as it fits).”
They all mean well, but that doesn’t change the message they send you: YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH!
Fun Fact: Psychologists call this phenomenon “social undermining,” and it can have profound effects on self-esteem and identity formation.
A study from the University of Michigan found that young adults who experience consistent negative feedback develop what’s called “learned helplessness”—a belief that they cannot succeed regardless of effort.
Travel, particularly solo travel, has been shown to be one of the most effective ways to break this cycle.
The Quest for Self-Discovery
That was basically the main reason why I started traveling.
I needed to get away from everything to find out who I am and what I am capable of, without someone telling me what I can and can’t, should and shouldn’t do.
I needed to push myself to my limits and beyond, in as many ways as possible.
So I started doing all the crazy things I could find and went as far out of my comfort zone as humanly possible.
Trekking, diving, freediving, training Shaolin Kung Fu in a monastery in China, downhill biking, skydiving, bungee jumping, and stuff like that.
I almost never said NO to a new experience, except if it got really crazy or just stupid.
All of a sudden, I happened to have all kinds of crazy experiences, which you will also be able to read about on this blog in the coming weeks and months.
Fun Fact: Neurologists have discovered that novel experiences trigger the release of dopamine in the brain, not just when we experience something pleasurable, but specifically when we encounter something new.
This “novelty bonus” is believed to be an evolutionary adaptation that rewards exploration.
When traveling, we constantly expose ourselves to new environments, foods, languages, and customs—essentially giving our brains a continuous dopamine boost that enhances learning and memory formation.
The Transformation: From Insecurity to Confidence
The only thing I would like to point out here, at the end of this post, is this:
Before I started traveling, I was this shy, insecure kid who couldn’t stand up for himself, and I was always worried too much about what other people might think about me.
After I returned from my travels, I returned as a different person.
Suddenly I was selfconfident, mentally strong, good in negotiations, had my own opinions based on my own experiences.
I learned a lot about different people, cultures, and traditions.
And I don’t care too much what people think about me anymore.
I do what I like because it’s my life.
There will always be people who don’t like what I do or how I live my life, and that is fine with me.
Just don’t try to change me. 😉
Fun Fact: A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that extended international travel correlates with increased “cognitive flexibility”—the ability to adapt to new situations and think creatively about problems.
Researchers found that students who studied abroad scored 20% higher on problem-solving tasks than those who didn’t, and showed greater tolerance for ambiguity—a key trait for confidence in uncertain situations.
The Value of Self-Knowledge Through Experience
I have grown in many ways and am more confident than ever before because I was able to actually get to know myself very well.
Now, I know very well what I am capable of and what not, how far I can push myself, and what I am good at.
Which, in my opinion, is very important for your life in the future.
So get out there and make your own experiences!
You will not be disappointed, as long as you follow your heart!
This journey of self-discovery didn’t end with my return home.
In fact, it led me to explore even deeper aspects of consciousness and connection, as I’ve shared in my experiences with Ayahuasca and Mother Nature.
The path of personal growth continues to unfold in unexpected ways.
Fun Fact: Anthropologists have documented “walkabout” traditions in cultures around the world—from Aboriginal Australia to Native American vision quests to European journeyman years.
These traditions all share a common understanding: that leaving home and facing challenges alone is essential for developing adult identity.
Modern psychology confirms this ancient wisdom, with studies showing that overcoming travel challenges builds what psychologists call “self-efficacy”—the belief in one’s ability to succeed in specific situations.
Embracing Your Own Journey
Travel isn’t just about seeing new places—it’s about seeing yourself in a new light.
When you remove yourself from familiar surroundings and the expectations of others, you create space to discover who you truly are and what you’re capable of achieving.
Whether you’re considering a gap year, a career break, or just a solo adventure, remember that the most valuable souvenirs you’ll bring home aren’t physical—they’re the newfound confidence, perspective, and self-knowledge that come from testing your limits and discovering your strengths.
Have you experienced personal transformation through travel?
Or are you considering taking the leap into the unknown?
I’d love to hear about your journey.
Connect with me on my Social Media Channels, where I share more insights about travel, personal growth, and consciousness exploration.
Thank you very much for reading my post!
Peace,
Ralph
